it takes time

I had ten full years of becoming
Catholic
God and Jesus and Mary and all the saints
Solid years, my best years of learning
the early years that the Jesuits grasp

I had thirty years in the wilderness
seeking the Promised Land
saw a lot of places
none overflowed with milk or honey

But in these past fifteen years
of anguish, loss of innocence
and loss of those we loved
slowly, creepingly slowly
the past is being undone

unlearning is proceeding apace
the Buddha's out of date
but still true North holds good
and his methods prove strong
and practical

and the writer of the Tao te Ching
guides me to greater safety and safe harbour
perhaps before I die
I may have learned how to live